there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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