Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wish you could order shots online.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
