I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
