you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
