I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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