Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
