My Higher Power is John Stamos
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
