So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
