I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
