He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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