she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
