i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
