Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I checked into jail on foursquare
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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