so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
