yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
