Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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