People in love make me want to vomit
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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