Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
