You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize