im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
