she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I didn't notice because vodka
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
