He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
