I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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