OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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