I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
