walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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