the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
