Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
