he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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