drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
