I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
