You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
