u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
