Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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