i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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