did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
