batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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