What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
