Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
