dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
