i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
