my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize