it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
