Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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