found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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