what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
