Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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