My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
