I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
