Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
