How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize