We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
