In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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