I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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