Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
