Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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