is your mom at the bar?
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
