I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
high people should be assigned attendants
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
