Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
