I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
