I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize