Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
