it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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