Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
