Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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