you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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