You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
