if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
